Zap

I wrote this in an e-mail to friends on Jan. 26, describing events on Jan. 24:

Got Lasik?

After a few months of planning and pre-op, I went under the laser on Wednesday. I got a touch of Valium and a few eyedrops first, and without my glasses on, things were kind of bleary, but there are still memorable moments. Getting led into the operating room, handed a teddy bear, and into the chair--just like the dentist, right? Until you get rotated into position and they put in the Clockwork Orange-like eyelid restraints. I could sort of see the suction cup come over my eye, then schluck! the world goes dark as it grabs on. A little whining sound--they're separating the epithelial layer from the cornea with a knife--before the world comes back, and you're looking at it through a little bit less eye than you were before. Then the blinking orange light, follow the blinking orange light, which eventually develops a purplish halo. A clicking noise and the sound of a fan: the laser is vaporizing my cornea, and the fan is to remove both the vaporized detritus and the smell of burning flesh. A minute later, the lights go away, and the surgeon is replacing the epithelium with, well, sort of a small version of the rubbery spatula you'd use to get cake batter out of a bowl. Then, eye #2--again, the suction cup appears and schluck! the world goes black, only this time it's followed by a sound not unlike a dentist's drill, more like a power tool: they're cutting sideways through my cornea. And the cornea is made of tough, tough stuff. Again, follow the blinking orange light, don't even think about looking any other direction because here comes the purple halo and the clicking and the little fan...This time, to replace the flap of my cornea that was removed, the surgeon uses what I perceive to be more of an optical squeegee to get all the wrinkles out.

And in less than ten minutes, I stand up from the chair, give back the teddy bear, and am led from the operating room. The world is fuzzy, like I've just woken up from falling sleep with my contact lenses in, but I'm not wearing contact lenses. After wearing glasses for 25 years, this is sort of profound.

Recovery's a bitch for the right eye that only had the outer epithelial layer removed, which is expected. My left eye, which had the classic Lasik procedure done which involved cutting a flap into the cornea, is giving me no grief whatsover, especially in comparison to the right.* However, in less than 48 hours, the right eye has improved significantly. It may also help that I have a Vicodin prescription for the next few days...to go along with a regimen of four different prescription eyedrops, as well as artificial tears. Ooo, and I get to Scotch-tape eye shields to my face when I go to sleep at night--now that's sexy.

Yesterday and today I'm spending at home, as the right eye can spazz a bit if I move and do too much, but here I am typing an e-mail relatively comfortably. I've driven myself to the optometrist for checks twice, without driving erraticly--but this is California, erratic driving is par for the course, so no one would think much of it if I did.

And I can see.

*The average cornea is ~500 micrometers or 0.5 mm thick, and the correction to my right eye (-8.00 diopters pre-op) required the removal of ~100 microns of tissue. Since the flap they cut for Lasik is ~120 microns thick and you want to leave a backstop, classic Lasik wasn't going to have much wiggle room, so instead I elected for the Epi-Lasik procedure that essentially burns in from the front. The disadvantage is the more complicated and pained recovery, but if it wasn't for that, ophthamologists would like to do the Epi-Lasik procedure more often as it avoids the potential for complications from the corneal flap.